Home is Where the Heart is…

If that is true, I definitely left it back in Texas. Trying to start a new life abroad like I’m doing with no clear view of how it’s all going to work out puts you in a strange position. I’ve never experienced anything like it before. You learn a lot about yourself and deal with strange feelings that have never been an issue before.

I’ve never really been one to get homesick, but just three days in and I am probably what you would call desperately homesick. I can’t even talk to my family right now, because suddenly, seeing their messages makes me want to cry. I saw a video message my dad left me on Skype and I nearly lost it in the middle of the lobby of my hostel. I have a few loved ones wanting to FaceTime, but I’m hoping they understand that I just can’t right now. It’s been really hard suppressing tears and trying to figure out why I’ve become so uncontrollably emotional. I’m afraid that the moment I hear a familiar voice or see a familiar face, I will inexcusably burst into tears.

I’ve fought it hard and told myself I’m being ridiculous, but the truth is, I’m scared and lonely. I really didn’t know I would react like this. I would love to hop on a plane right now and just come home. But I can’t do that. I would forever regret the day I just gave up. If I let fear control me, I will surely fail. Much of it is a pride thing, and of that I’ve become painfully aware. Thankfully, I have my Bible and quiet moments to dwell on truth.

Just yesterday I was reading in Isaiah and came across some encouraging passages:

As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. –Isaiah 55:9

For this is what the high and lofty One says – he who lives forever, whose name is holy: “I live in a high and holy place, but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite.” – Isaiah 57:15

Pray that I find a good church here, and that I find a good job and a good place to live (haha…basically for everything!).

And if I don’t get back to you right away, don’t be offended, it just might be that I love you too much to handle it!

Hugs,
Heidi

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One thought on “Home is Where the Heart is…

  1. Hang in there Heidi! You’re on an adventure “and no one knows what the Lord has in store for us.” Praying for you! (:
    Love,
    Mom

    Like

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